I just love this one. Damn .. I wish there had been security cameras to record this for prosperity.
The locale is Jacksonville, North Carolina. Now if you know Jacksonville, NC, you will know that this is not the place you want to screw around with people you aren’t all that familiar with. They train throat slitters there. Not the bad kind … the good kind. The kind that wear the uniforms of the U.S. Marine Corps (or, as Obama would pronounce it, “corpse”) and the U.S. Army.
So here we have these two pretty perps, Maurice and Diego — all decked out in their long flowing black braids and all. Really stylish, know what I’m sayin? We know just how pretty they were because we have mug shots. Seems they weren’t exactly the pillars of society in those parts.
Anyway, our pretty perps decided it would be a good idea to burglarize a home while the occupants were away. The perps may have been pretty — but they weren’t all that smart. Seems the house they chose was home to two Marines – and the Marines came home with another male while the perps were still trying to figure out how to get the flat screen disconnected. Well, as you might suspect, a certain amount of mayhem ensued in the home – and when the smoke cleared the Braided Boys were both DRT — and for those of you who don’t know, that means Dead Right There. The Marines? “Treated and released,” as they say.
I know it’s not nice, but I just LOVE it when things turn out this way. The taxpayers are saved the cost of a trial and incarceration, and the Marines get some additional training under their belts. Plus … Maurice and Diego will never bother another law-abiding person again. Stick ‘em in a glad bag and set them on a curb somewhere. Do they have gators that far north? Gators gotta eat too, you know.