Zombie apocalypse coming

Throughout the past few decades, zombie-themed entertainment has grown from a small subculture movement to mainstream big business. In addition to annual, blockbuster movies, devoted zombie fans now enjoy zombie-themed obstacle races, zombie stores, zombie dotcoms, zombie charity walks and award-winning “Walking Dead” television shows. Even the Centers for Disease Control put your hard-earned tax dollars to use with a zombie-themed emergency preparedness campaign in 2012.

Being in the survival business, the “zombie apocalypse” is always a fun topic of conversation and one that I enjoy joking about. I even teach a zombie-themed survival course here at Willow Haven.

Lately, though, it seems my zombie jokes have been hitting a little too close to home. The whole zombie thing is starting to feel a little too real. Am I going crazy? I don’t think so. Allow me to elaborate.

Let me start by listing some well-known zombie characteristics:

Zombies have a one track mind and only think about one thing: Consumption.
Zombies only take what they want (typically brains). They are not productive members of society.
Zombies gather in large hordes that roam the streets, terrorizing hardworking citizens.
The zombie virus is highly contagious. Once exposed, it is very difficult (if not impossible) to be cured.
Zombies have an insatiable appetite and will stop at nothing to feed their cravings.
Once a zombie outbreak occurs, it is incredibly difficult to regain order and normalcy.
Zombies don’t make a lot of sense when they speak. They have a severe lack of communication skills.

Introducing: The American zombie virus

Make no mistake about it, there is a “zombie-esque” way of life spreading like wildfire throughout this country. And, unlike make-believe TV zombies, this mentality has devastating consequences on America’s survival and the future of life as we know it.

This “take only and give nothing back” lifestyle is fueled by a never-ending supply of free (to them, not to you) government goodies and perpetuated by spineless politicians who don’t have the guts to stand up for productive members of society and immunize this country-killing infection before it’s too late.

To make the problem worse, the American zombie virus is passed to children. Entire generations of new Americans are being raised to suckle from the ever-generous government teat. Meanwhile, our self-seeking government officials work hard to ensure that the flow of milk and honey doesn’t run dry by taking excess from those who are already giving more than their fair share.

Read more here.

Parents Furious After Young Boys Suspended After Playing With Imaginary Weapon

Is it child’s play or a serious threat of gun violence? For the second time in less than a month, a Maryland child is kicked out of school for using his finger in the shape of a gun. Kai Jackson has more on the controversy.

No one is debating the importance of keeping children safe. The question being asked is what’s child’s play and what’s not?

Controversy at a Talbot County school after two six-year-old boys were suspended while playing cops and robbers during recess and using their fingers to make an imaginary gun.

“It’s ridiculous,” said parent Julia Merchant

This is the second time a Maryland child has been suspended for such play. Earlier this month, six-year-old Rodney Lynch was suspended from his Montgomery County school after pretending to fire an imaginary gun more than once.

Read more here.

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